All this questions running through my head. Each one of them brings me to another but they somehow all come down to just one. Am i making the right decision? I've been wrong a lot of times and this time, i'd hate myself if i was wrong again. Trust me, if you'd fail as many time as i did, you'd want to be right and carefully make every decision in your life. And because you're so goddamn cautious bout your every move, you'd lose the benefit of the doubt because you don't doubt. You don't invest in things that bring no future. You make everything a clean cut so you don't get hurt. You build up walls around your life so that no one else can come near enough to bring you down. 


And this isn't the kinda life i imagined myself going through. I certainly do not want to be like this for the rest of my life. I wanna be able to be reckless again, and make mistakes, learning from them and understand the underlying lessons of each downfall. 


There are a lot of things I want in life and I have yet to achieve. And time is running out for me. Therefore you can understand how insecure and vulnerable I am when I am in an unfamiliar territory. As broken as I am, I still have my own dignity and pride. I don't like letting people see the weaker me because then they'd get the upper hand. Your weakness is your enemy's strength. 


Today's the famously known " April's Fool Day. Guess i am the only fool here tonight. 


You really had me believed.