rollercoaster.

we were close friends also lovers
did everything for one another
now you're gone and im lost without you here now
but i know i gotta live and make it someone


im confused. i hate grey. why can't things just be black or white. shades of grey are confusing and annoying. regardless of decisions, perspectives, answers, questions and other shit. there's always this level of confusion that you have to either guess or estimate.

friends keep telling me that i dont trust myself and i need to be more confident in what i believe. but somehow i've lost it. im beginning to wonder if i still have a mind of my own. lately, i've been leeching to almost any opportunity i have to be around my friends because they're the source of my strength. it's not healthy. i know i know. and when shit happens, you're the one that's screwed. yes i know i know.

and i keep telling myself that, but what can you do. when desperate moment comes desperate measures and you do whatever it takes to survive.

down bottom low i went today and hopefully i get back up tomorrow.